Fifty Shades of Grey - E.L. James For the past few weeks I had been hearing murmurings of this book that is sweeping the nation. This underground book previously known as a Twilight fan fiction is the talk at every school pick up line. Let me begin by saying that I adore anything that helps ease the clutched hand off of America’s pearls. I want our society to be more European and not freak out every time someone shows some nipple in a half time show. But I am so disappointed that this is the book that has America talking.

The story is accessible as far as first time erotica encounters go. There’s a nice virgin girl and a mysterious sexy man who is so 1% rich its sexy. The main characters felt well defined. That is where my love of this story ends. The side characters are merely there to be one dimensional and say all the right things to our heroine. Oh, he is so into you. Maybe you should cut him some slack. I’m her dad and I REALLY like you guy I’ve never met.

The publisher of Fifty Shades of Grey boasts a large staff made up of eleven editors and three proofreaders. I sincerely think that they failed this author in a big way. There were misspellings, the grammar was more than atrocious, and the love interest said the girl smelled good so many times without every saying what she actually smelled like. He said things like “I’m not interesting in that.” And words were repeated over and over again.

I’m not one that thinks every book has to be perfection. That there can be no mistakes, or no room to start a new trend or do something extraordinary and outside of the box mentality but none of those fine things were found in this book.

From this point on there be spoilers:

She’s a virgin, he’s a guy who is ‘fifty shades of fucked up’ and that is why he likes BDSM. Why can’t he just enjoy the BDSM lifestyle? Why must there be some child abuse thing behind it that makes him need it? The protagonist learns that he learned the lifestyle from an older woman that she likened to a child molester but this plot line doesn’t get developed at all. He likes to control things, I do too but I don’t feel the need to spank my husband to control him. I can yell at him for that. If I wanted to spank my husband it wouldn’t be because I felt the need to hurt him.

Ana doesn’t like being spanked. She lets him try it twice and both times it leaves her in tears. He says that he NEEDS to do this to her, so she hem-haws about in Bella fashion but unlike Bella at the end of book one she decides to leave him. I GAVE THIS A HOORAH. I refuse to read the other two in the series but I have to believe that she goes back to him if there are two more books. So that takes the float out of my feminazi boat. Why go back if you don’t want to live the BDSM lifestyle with him?

Mostly I’m just pissed that I paid $6.99 for a book that no one could bother running a spelling and grammar check on. My suggestion is if you want to try erotica and talk about it in the pick up line save yourself $4 and buy Immersed in Pleasure by Tiffany Reisz. Its incredibly hot and all the words are spelled right